Solo Women Van Dweller - Do you feel safe?

Why I love van dwelling!

Do I feel safe?

Before answering this question I would like to share some of my history. 

As a child I was never a girly girl. In fact the one photo of me playing with dolls as a child was posed. I preferred to play outside, run, climb trees, ride bikes, and build campfires in the many campgrounds we visited in Washington State. 

In my teens I sometimes rode a unicycle to jr high school and a motorcycle to high school. I dreamed of becoming an interior designer or an architect. However instead I got married at 19 to my highschool sweetheart, helped build a software development company, Comtronic Systems and had my first of two daughters at 22. 

After my second daughter was born I took on the role of full time mom, became President of the PTA, started a reading program at the elementary school, volunteered tons and in their high school years watched them play years of tennis. 

Life changed in 2002 when I got divorced. It was a time of change in many ways. It was time to discover who I was, besides mom. I once again considered going to school to become an architect but instead pursued photography because it freed me to travel.

One of the many trips - Utah

In the summer of 2004 I packed up my X5 BMW SUV and took my first car camping trip to Banff and Jasper in the Canadian Rockies. I slept in my car even though I had a tent since I felt safer that way. Also in 2004 I took my daughters and mom on a 2 week European vacation where we stayed in Zimmers (private homes). What an adventure that was! 

Truck and Camper - Idaho

I graduated to a truck and camper in 2006, traveling by myself as far away as Iowa. While on a trip to the Sawtooth Mountains in October of the same year the stock market crashed and I was momentarily scared. Scared that I might lose my house and scared that I wouldn't have enough savings. A couple hours later I paused, in the middle of my self imposed pity party, to realize that I was truly happy for the last week with very little - my camper, my computer and my camera. 

It was in that moment I realized that my happiness needed to be reassessed. Yes I needed to make deep cuts in my spending and at that time I decided to VRBO my house to help with payments but I knew that happiness wasn't tied to things, it was a way of being.

In 2010 I went back to car camping and sleeping in my car after a painful breakup with my boyfriend, he owned the truck and I owned the camper. In September of that year I flew to the east coast, rented a car (not a SUV) for 6 weeks and drove from Baltimore to New Hampshire to Long Island, to DC, down the Blue Ridge Highway to the Smoky Mountains and back up the coast to Baltimore. It was a fabulous trip. 

I remember being concerned only one night on that entire journey. I was sleeping in a parking lot along the Blue Ridge Highway. There was not a "no parking" sign but I felt like I shouldn't be there. It was dark and raining, and I was tired. So I parked in the back of the lot, kind of in the shadows, crawled to the back seat and curled up in my sleeping bag. I remember rearranging my pillow a few times, while listening to the rain, thinking I can't fall asleep. Next I knew it was morning. Once again a successful nights sleep in my car!

Other nights I remember well include:

A night in Escalante when the full moon seemed like a beacon pointing directly just on me. After that I got nightshades. 

Waking up in a packed Starbucks parking lot at 7:30am because a car door had slammed. That was a little awkward.

Parking on the street in Monterey, CA wondering if anyone would notice and since no one seemed to care doing it again the next night.

Arriving to a camp spot on BLM land in Utah at night and waking up to the most incredible view. 

Barely pulling off a gravel road with a commanding view in New Zealand to watch sunset and then sunrise.

Getting lost in New Zealand

Parking on the beach, in the woods, in the desert, in hotel parking lots, rest stops, truck stops, neighborhoods, by a cemetery, near city parks.

Listening to silence, staring at the milky way, sitting by the campfire, being visited by a fox, watching the eclipse of the sun and the moon, dancing with the Aurora Borealis.

The memories are priceless, my life fulfilled by so little when I am on the road. 

So back to the question: Do I feel safe? YES! I have had moments of concern that cause me to pause and evaluate if I am in a safe place, if in doubt I move. I have never been approached by someone that felt threatening. The plan is that if something spooks me I can easily get into the driver's seat and leave. 

My life as a vandweller came in baby steps and I have lots of experience sleeping in vehicles. However I have never lived in fear. I believe the majority of people are good and that I am safer in the woods than in the city. I lock my doors at night and keep the key by my bed. 

If you are fearful of this life style consider taking baby steps yourself. If the thought of a night in a hotel room by yourself is scary for you, evaluate why. Maybe you don't have experience navigating outside of your city, perhaps take a drive with a friend one day and repeat it by yourself the next. If you are scared for your safety take self defense classes and find out how real the dangers are. Concerned your car might break down, become a AAA member. 

In other words empower yourself, believe in yourself and take charge of your life. No one else will do it for you.

My Intention - Continue Inspiration, Positive & Honest

This morning's intention at yoga.

Purpose, Intention, Breathe In and Breathe Out.

Yoga has been a wonderful addition to my schedule while in Austin, TX. I am so grateful to Wanderlust for their special 30 days for $39 that includes unlimited yoga and showers. I took full advantage of both, sometimes engaging in back to back classes and always spending luxurious minutes under loads of water.

My life is very sweet right now as I live as a vandweller. It is a life I have wanted for a long time. Before vanlife I travelled often in my car sleeping on a foam pad in the back with the seats folded down. It was while on a solo 6 week trip to New Zealand in 2015 that I decided to make vanlife a serious goal.

Along the way I have been told two things often, "You are so brave." and "You are such an inspiration." So when at yoga this morning and it was suggested to set an intention I came up with, "Inspiration" then "Continue Inspiration" then to make it very clear to myself, "Continue Inspiration, honest and positive."

So here it is for all to witness and keep me accountable to.

#1 Question - Do you have a toilet? My Full Disclosure

So many portable toilet options if you want one!

This blog post might be too much information (TMI) for some, even though it is the number one question asked of me. I’ll warn you that blunt honestly is to follow. 

The majority of the people I share my van lifestyle with are concerned about where I will pee and poop while on the road. 

They don't quite ask me in that way, instead they ask, 

"Do you have a toilet in the van?"

The question still surprises me because I came from sleeping in my car for weeks at a time and never needed a porta-potty then. Besides, don’t you want to know all the awesome places I have visited instead of how I empty my bladder? I guess not!

Is it that we have become so domesticated that we can't imagine anything but sitting on our own private throne at home to do our business? I suppose that is partially true. 

Did you know that not every female sits on a toilet? I have seen signs in women's bathrooms, that have a large Japanese tourist population, showing women that they must not squat while standing on the toilet rim in the USA, sitting is instead required. Also, I recently read in a Lisa Sees book how a young woman, who grew up in a remote village, couldn't image why city dwellers would want to sit on the same seat that many others before them have sat on instead of squat. To each their own I suppose. 

So back to the question. Normally I answer one of two ways, depending on the person asking. 1. Nope, I did make room for one however if in the future I want one. 2. Yes, it is stored under the bed (not truthful but makes some people more comfortable.) These answers satisfies most people and the issue is dropped. 

However I believe the questions should continue so here is complete disclosure, for me personally, as I wouldn’t dare guess how others remove the waste from their bodies. 

How do you avoid the need to pee in the van?

Before I enter my van in the evening I do my best to empty my bladder, if in nature I usually squat nearby the van. If in the city I find a restroom, most of the time. Honestly, dogs pee on bushes and I have too. I have also peed In alleys, in dark corners and in the middle of the night. Okay now that I have revealed that, I have always wondered why a  guy can and a girl shouldn’t?

What happens if you have to pee in the middle of the night and don’t want to go outside? 

If I just can’t hold it any longer in the middle of the night I’ll use a portable urinal that I bought at Amazon.

It works great, doesn't leak and has a large capacity -  but I hate to clean it out in the morning so I avoid it if at all possible.

Have you ever had a bowel movement (my mom calls it that) in your van?

Nope I have never pooped in the van. Pooping is always, in my case, in the woods, where I dig and cover, or a public toilet. 

When you first wake up don’t you really have to go?

Most mornings I wake with an urgent need to pee. However I usually lay there, write my Morning Pages, check emails and read social media postings. 

When I do get up, I dress first, when in the city, and by the time I complete that task and make the bed I am surprised how the urgency has diminished, sometimes so much so that I stay in the van for an hour or so longer without relieving myself. Okay this is not a good option for many because it is my understanding that “holding it” too long can lead to a UTI but so far that has not happened to me. 

Also, another disclosure, I am not a “need to drink coffee first thing” girl so that helps with the need for number two first thing in the morning. 

When in the city I park near a coffee shop, cafe, gas station, hotel lobby, Walmart or 24 hour services; just in case I do need to use their facilities first thing or last thing. When traveling from place to place I often spend the night at a Rest Stop. 

Bottom line, I suppose, is that I never stress over it. I just make it part of my life and don’t feel inconvenienced. Thankfully I have never had the flu or illness that might make the issue acute. If the need was acute, I suppose, I would either be in a mess of trouble, possibly rely on ziplock bags or quickly rent a hotel room. 

So now that you know that I don’t have a toilet, don’t want one and am totally happy with my arrangement, maybe, just maybe, you can be a little less concerned for me. 

Now if I did have one I may get the composting toilet kind but they must be vented which means air exchange, cold air at night in many cases. Brrrr!

My Journey as a Solo Woman Van Dweller

Teri Lou and her Artistic Adventurer Van

My life dramatically changed in 2017 and so it was time to expand teriloublog.com to better express my artistic adventures.  This blog now includes: vanlife, photography and other thoughts as I meander through life. My goal is to educate, encourage and inspire people to fulfill their dreams.

At one time, as my daughters grew up, I was a more traditional woman with routines that didn't change much day to day, year to year. Then everything changed in 2002, I got divorced and my daughters were in high school; it was time to figure out who I was.

The journey has been full of: travel to amazing locations, incredible people who have given to me unselfishly, heart ache and hard work, variety of creative endeavors, and self discovery that lead to a very happy and content Teri Lou.

I am now a very non traditional woman as a full time solo van dweller who as a professional photographer prefers the iPhone because I can express myself in emotionally creative ways anytime, anywhere. My days are rarely the same and so I see this blog meandering as I do.


Please join me on this artistic adventure. Subscribe through email - see link on left column.
Who knows where it will lead us to.